The husband said that mom wants a massager. I bought it. In response, I heard: “Why did you get that I need it?»The scarf handed over to her friend. Every day of her birth is for me – flour. It seems not to be a gift.
Inna, I want to ask you: you are trying to please the mother -in -law, so that? What are you hoping to get in response? The absence of which in a relationship with her so upset you? You try all 14 years of marriage, this is a decent time! I am surprised how for so much time you manage to live in this emotional deficit and not despair, not to stop giving your mother -in -law.
Judging by the letter, you communicate well with other relatives of your husband, you are quite included in the family system, participate with everyone in holidays, friends with another daughter. But at the same time, you still feel like in something infringed in. This resembles other relationships – daughter and mother.
This happens with some mothers who need to please in order to earn their love. But you are not obliged to love your mother -in -law as much as your mother. You should also not expect from her attitude to you as a daughter. In fact, you are strangers who did not choose each other. You are forced to get along in the framework of one family.
It is completely normal if you just respectfully communicate with each other. You can find this respect for her in your love for your husband. And the mother -in -law will draw him in love for his son, respecting his choice made 14 years ago. In every person you can find something for which he can be respected, there would be a desire.
Remind
yourself that she is not your mother, but a husband’s mother. If warm feelings once between you someday still arise, let it be a bonus of your marriage. As for gifts, perceive them as a manifestation of respect for your spouse’s mother. And no more. If it is so difficult for you to choose them yourself and you are getting hurt every time in this place, instruct your husband to do it. In the end, this is his mother.
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